Virtual Medical Centre

Healthy Sexual Relationships

• Introduction to healthy sexual relationships
• What is a healthy sexual relationship?
• What makes a sexual relationship unhealthy?
  • Physical health risks in sexual relationships
  • Psychological health risks in sexual relationships

Introduction

Having a healthy sex life and relationship are important parts of your overall health and wellbeing. The majority of adults experience sexual difficulties or health problems at some point. Sexually transmitted infections (including human immunodeficiency virus or HIV) and unwanted pregnancy are the most common sexual threats to physical health. There are also a range of emotional factors which can affect your sexual health and the health of your sexual relationship.

Most societies hold expectations about when, how often and with whom individuals should have sex (e.g. heterosexual vs homosexual, and casual vs steady relationships).  These expectations generally vary considerably from individuals' sexual practices, desires and experiences, leading many to believe that what they want or do in a sexual relationship is abnormal or unhealthy.

What is a healthy sexual relationship?

According to the World Health Organisation, "sexual health is a state of physical, emotional, mental and social wellbeing in relation to sexuality; it is not merely the absence of disease, dysfunction or infirmity."

A healthy sexual relationship, therefore, is one in which the individuals involved are physically and psychologically content with the frequency and nature of sexual encounters. A healthy sexual relationship should involve protection against STIs and unwanted pregnancy (e.g. through condom use), be free of coercion, sexual assault, rape, discrimination, violence and pain. All individuals involved should be aware of their rights to stop sexual encounters at any time and feel confident to discuss and initiate sexual activities as they desire. Healthy sexual relationships may involve periods of abstinence, when sex is not desired or when the desired sexual partner is not available.

In terms of the types and frequency of sexual engagement, however, there is no recipe for a healthy sexual relationship. Peoples' sexual desires, perspectives and histories vary considerably. What is positive and healthy in one relationship may have negative health impacts in another. 

Australians engage in a wide variety of sexual behaviours in addition to penetrative. A study of the sexual practices of over 20,000 adult Australian men and women found that:

• 65% of men and 35% of women had masturbated in the four weeks prior to being interviewed, and 12% and 14% respectively had used a sex toy
• 37% of men and 16% of women watched X-rated movies
• 17% of men and 2% of women visited internet sex sites (on purpose!)
• 17% of men and 14% of women engaged in anal stimulation
• Nearly 10% of women and over 5% of men reported a homosexual experience
• Around 4% of men and women reported engaging in roleplay, 2% in bondage and 4.5% in anal-oral stimulation.

Clearly there is no normal set of sexual behaviours in Australia and all of the sexual practices listed above are healthy, as long as the individuals involved feel comfortable with them.

What makes a sexual relationship unhealthy?

Physical health risks in sexual relationships

All sexual relationships involve the risk of unwanted pregnancy and STI. While condoms and other contraceptives mean both these threats can be avoided, they are still common in Australian society. Around 20% of Australian men and 17% of Australia women who participated in the Australian Study of Health and Relationships (ASHR) reported having had an STI at some point in their life. More than 2% of men and women reported an STI in the year prior to the survey. Many Australians do not have a good knowledge of how STIs are transmitted, or the health consequences of them.

While the use of hormonal contraceptives in Australia is high (around 95% of sexually active, fertile women use them), over 20% of women surveyed reported terminating one or more pregnancies in their life. The proportion of Australians using condoms in steady relationships (7.1% and 22.5% respectively for cohabiting and noncohabiting relationships) and casual encounters (41.4%) remains low.  Amongst heterosexuals, condoms are usually used to prevent pregnancy rather than STI. 

Sexual relationships that involved physical violence, sexual coercion and/or rape are also unhealthy. Unfortunately violence, sexual coercion and rape are common in Australia.  Because many people do not report to the police when someone they love abuses them sexually or physically, it is impossible to say exactly how many people have experienced this type of treatment.  In the ASHR, one in five women and one in twenty men reported that they had been coerced to have sex. If you are in a relationship where your partner hurts you physically, makes threats or forces you to have sex, talk to a health professional so that you can find support to leave or improve the relationship. Your doctor will be able to refer you to an appropriate specialist.

Psychological health risks in sexual relationships

Psychological factors influence the way an individual feels about their sexual relationships. In every society, particular sexual behaviours are considered more and less acceptable, and those who engage in socially less acceptable (but nonetheless common) sexual practices may experience guilt or discrimination as a result. Sexual relationships generally involve strong positive emotions (e.g. love), but many relationships also involve negative emotional aspects. Physical violence, coercion to engage in sex, and rape have longterm psychological impacts. People who have been sexually abused on average report more sexual difficulties than those that have not been. You should be aware of your right to say no to unwanted sexual encounters (whether or not they involve penetrative sex, touching, kissing or other behaviours), as well as your right to engage in sexual practices you desire (as long as these don't violate the sexual rights of others).

Related Diseases:

• Male Sexual Dysfunction (Erectile Dysfunction, Impotence)
• Female Sexual Dysfunction (FSD)

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Article Dates:

Created: 16/8/2008

Modified: 23/7/2009